Going on a successful first date holds a degree of uncertainty because it involves two people. However, being composed and in the right frame can give you an increased chance of success. Here are 10 tips for a man going on a first date that are actually useful, rather than feelgood advice.
1. Do Not Over-Communicate
If you have set a day and time to meet, there is no need to further discuss the date before the actual meet-up. Your first date will be an opportunity for you to get to know one another. Endless texting and calling will only take away some of the mystique of the first date. Exercise some restraint and avoid the urge to over-communicate before the actual date.
2. Choose the Right Place
The point of a first date is for you to get to know the person you are going out with. Choosing a date that will involve some good conversation will facilitate this. Avoid going to a movie, a ballgame or a play as a first date. Try something classy that will allow for you to talk. A nice lounge bar or restaurant will do just fine. Don’t break the bank to do this. Spend a few minutes online to find something that suits your taste and your budget.
3. Don’t Be Overly Flattering
Offering too many compliments can have the opposite effect of what you intend. If a woman has agreed to go out with you, she already has at least a modicum of interest. Trying too hard to impress with compliments will diminish her interest and place you lower on the dating food chain.
4. Remain Aware of Your Body Language
Going out with a woman you are attracted to can make you a little more flirtatious and expressive. Your enthusiasm may come out as giddiness and your hand gestures and body language may be too juvenile. Instead, hold strong posture and be aware of your body language. Don’t slouch and show insecurity and nervousness. You want to exude confidence rather than dizzying Jim Carey-like movement.
5. Show Interest in What She’s Saying
It’s important to remain grounded and come from a position of confidence, but be sure to show interest in what your date is saying. Not only will you be building rapport with the other person, but you can also keep your ears trained for information that will help you decide whether or not you want to have a second date.
6. Don’t Try to Impress With Money or Career Talk
A lot of times when men are nervous or insecure, they try to impress their date with talk of how much they make or their career accomplishments. Although it is true that women are looking for a man that has his life together, reciting your resume is almost like being in a job interview where the woman is the hiring manager and you are the one vying for the position.
Instead, choose to talk about other subjects and refer to your vocation in a nonchalant way. It’ll show you are not obsessed with proving yourself and that you are more than what your job is.
7. Have Fun but Show Your Serious Side
This tip ties in with body language mentioned earlier. You don’t want to be too silly and juvenile on your first date. Women generally look for a man that is in control of his emotions and you want to show that you are grounded.
8. Don’t Be Overly Invested in the Outcome
If you go into the date with a do-or-die mentality, you will not be able to have fun while learning about the other person. Go into the date as if it doesn’t matter whether it is a success or a complete flop. The more you are invested, the needier you will seem, and women do not generally go for a second date with a needy guy.
9. Remain Cool Afterwards
Even if you’ve had the time of your life, don’t over-communicate. Again, just as in leading up to the first date, don’t rush to send the girl 20 texts about how you had a great time.
10. Leave it Up to Her
This tip can be added to any step of the way but is particularly effective after the first date. After a few days have gone by, you can take the initiative to set up a second date. However, try waiting a few days and giving the girl the opportunity to contact you. It’ll flip the script and make you the one to be chased.
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